Rebuilding Your Home
by Random Guise
Summary: The 1977 film "Kentucky Fried Movie" consisted of a lot of different, unconnected comedy skits thrown together into one presentation. One of these skits was a pseudo-science film entitled 'Zinc Oxide and You' which, at its conclusion, destroyed a family's house. They tease the followup film 'Rebuilding Your Home' but of course never show it. Here it is.


**A/N: A short that you can insert after the Eyewitness News segment of the 1977 film "Kentucky Fried Movie", done in the old 1960's educational film style.**

* * *

Educational Films  
presents

Science Series #7

Rebuilding  
Your Home

_Many of today's Americans find it desirable to change aspects of their existing homes. For some, it provides the opportunity to 'freshen up' the look of their house or to add space to accommodate their lifestyles._

A family is shown putting new curtains in a living room window, then the shot changes to show a new room being painted on the exterior of an existing building.

_For others it can be an exciting opportunity to invest in a property and reap the benefits of a little hard work and a few simple do-it-yourself repairs. Today we see the Johnson family, who bought a fixer upper from an advertisement without bothering to visit the property._

A family of four is shown standing in front of a jumbled pile of lumber, masonry and pipes.

_That's okay Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, that old home will be better than new in no time thanks to a few do-it-yourself projects. The first step is to clear away the old parts of the house you are going to rebuild; it's always good to remove old wiring, nails or paint that might be unsafe._

A few quick scenes are shown: both children digging through the rubble and pulling out skeletons in Civil War uniforms and rolling away a cannonball, moving knights' armor and dinosaur bones; Mrs. Johnson backing over and crushing the family station wagon with a bulldozer while trying to clear out some of the old brick, and finally Mr. Johnson holding the family back while he pushes the plunger on a detonator, setting off a massive explosion that proceeds to rain debris over the neighborhood. Cue a neighbor looking at her pool as various items including an ancient toilet land and sink into the deep end. After the dust clears the lot has been cleared, with a small crater in the center.

_That's looking great! Most modern homes have a concrete foundation, so be sure to fill in any low spots before starting this phase so that your floor is nice and level._

The family shovels rock, vegetation and a bag labeled 'Jimmy Hoffa' into a hole before covering it with dirt. Later, the finishing touches of the foundation can be seen drying, along with a cat whose feet are stuck solidly in the firm cement.

_That's nice and tidy; hope you didn't lose your watch or anything important down there! Now building good walls are critical to the success of any housing project. Be sure to use high quality wood for the frame, using local sources if possible to find materials that are dry and seasoned. Make good use of your time._

During the night, we see the father and mother carrying long two by fours through the darkness to pile beside their foundation. The next day, we see them happily cutting and nailing while the camera pans around. In the distance, neighbors' houses and sheds can be seen with obvious parts missing; at one point a shed collapses due to one of the walls completely missing. A slide from a community playground is now quite obviously a part of the ventilation system.

While putting up drywall, the father is temporarily distracted talking to the children while the small family dog walks up to sniff and investigate behind the sheet. The father turns and pushes the sheet against the framing and nails it, while the children continue looking in vain for the dog. The scene shifts and the family is now standing outside the home, which hasn't been finished yet. A sad look crosses all their faces as a man with a hard hat and clipboard faces them with his hands on his hips.

_Uh oh! You forgot to have your work inspected and passed at the correct time. Most communities require proper inspection and passage of minimum construction standards, called 'code', during each construction phase to ensure that wires and plumbing can be given approval before they become inaccessible. Don't worry! In many agencies, a special person can be found to help ease any difficulties you may have by pointing out special unpublicized programs and opportunities that are offered; this person varies from community to community and you might have to ask around to find him or her._

We see Mr. Johnson pulling out his wallet and counting out quite a few large currency bills before passing them to the inspector, who counts them and frowns. Mr. Johnson hands over the rest and the inspector looks around, smiles, and stuffs them in his pocket before shaking hands with the father. He then produces a pen and with a large flourish puts a huge check mark on his clipboard while the family is all smiles again.

_With whatever improvements you make, remember to follow the theme of your house; try to blend and integrate what you want to keep with what you are adding. If needed, you can always come back and touch up to put the finishing accents to your project._

One of the children is happily painting an exterior wall with a large brush. As the camera pulls back, we see that each family member is painting their section in a markedly different color, oblivious to the others.

_Yes, with a little planning and some old-fashioned elbow grease you can turn a good home into a great home. Who wouldn't want at home that you would be proud to live in and where you can host guests and brag about for years to come?_

The family is shown posing in front of their house smiling, with its patchwork color scheme, a foundation and a roof that is decidedly not level, and windows that are canted at an angle. Disgusted neighbors shake their heads as they stare from their yards.

_Stay tuned for the next in our film series:_

Science Series #8

The Science of Selling Your Home.

The End

* * *

**A/N: I loved the "Zinc Oxide and You" short in the movie (and that was before I became a lab tech) and at the end of the segment they teased the next film in the series but of course never showed it. Guess it was time to finally correct that oversight…**


End file.
